I got an interesting phone call from my girlfriend Jamie moments ago. Apparently our relationship of nearly two years is over. No explanation. It's just over.
At least, that's what she heard.
Indeed, somehow my relationship with Jamie has become ammo for the rumor cannon. Although I am not exactly sure why.
Allow me to bring those of you playing the home game up to speed. I met Jamie through our mutual friend Frank. One night, Jamie and Frank were out and I called Frank about something. After our conversation, Jamie asks who it was.
"Oh, just my friend Ryan. I went to MCLA with him and he lives in this area."
"Oh...is he gay?" (She asks this because Frank's gay and has many gay friends. Somehow a breeder passed his barbed wire.)
"No, he's straight."
"Oh...is he single?"
"Yes, I think so."
"OH! Is he cute?"
"He's like a younger, much more sober Robert Downey Jr."
"I LOVE RDJ!"
"I KNOW, ME TOO!"
Alright, everything from the first Downey line was made up. However, Frank did end up showing Jamie a picture of me and I got the thumbs up. There seemingly wasn't an opportunity to meet up, however, so Jamie actually knew who I was for about a month and I didn't even know who she was. Fast-forward to a day at Rhode Island College. I'm dropping off papers to apply for an MFA program thinking "Frank goes here. I wonder if I'll see him." Sure enough, I run into Frank.
"So Ryan, how's your love life?"
"Well, I know a girl that goes here that would like to meet you."
"She's not here right now."
"But we'll get together soon. Her name is Jamie."
Soon was not soon enough. So I did the only sensible thing and tried to find her on Frank's MySpace (STALKER!). Jamie is one of the top friends. Cue my awkward, middle school-esque, message:
"Hi, my name is Ryan. I'm a friend of Frank's. I hope this is the right Jamie, but...I don't know if you wanted to go to the prom or something. If not, that's cool! I'll just hate you!!! LOL!!!!1"
OK, so it wasn't that, but I did send a message and it was the right Jamie. Pretty soon we did get together for a nice evening at Frank's. Soon after that I had gone to see her perform in A Chorus Line for a community theater. And then after that I asked her out on some actual dates. The rest, as they say, is history.
I can honestly say that things are great between us and our relationship is very strong. Testament to this statement is the fact that for a good portion of the relationship Jamie has been working in upstate NY. I'd go down to visit from time to time and she would also be home around the holidays, but generally she was five hours away. Regardless, we are very happy and wouldn't ask for anything else.
Somehow, someone saw this nice picture of a good relationship and said "I know, let's f%ck with this!"
I'm not sure who started the rumor, but apparently Frank has already been on the case. He's been making calls back and forth and traversing this web of lies, deceit, betrayal, and murder. Again, I'm exaggerating, but Frank wants to figure this out.
Jamie had been a tad upset, but not really. I just found it curious more than anything. Mainly I wondered who would want to say that in the first place. But the search is on.
This besmirchment will be avenged!
At least, I hear it will be avenged.