Wednesday, November 5, 2008

My president

I need to write more. I say that every time I post again after a long delay, but it is true.

Back in 2004, I voted for the first time. I was just at the age and I registered in Massachusetts. But I consider last night my first election.

When I voted during the Kerry/Bush election, the atmosphere surrounding the entire ordeal was very different. Looking back it was about getting someone out of office rather than getting the right person in office. My fellow colleagues at MCLA were seemingly of the same mind, in that it wasn't about "vote Kerry", but rather "don't vote Bush".

This year's election became very exciting for me in hindsight, which might sound a little odd. Yes, there were many historical things in the works, but my main concern was figuring out who I wanted to run this country. With arguments from both people coming every which way, it pretty much took me until November 4th to decide who I would vote for. I tried concentrating on the issues and working out what would truly be better, but every argument presented in the media was countered by something else, leaving me to ask what the truth really was.

Ultimately, I did vote Obama this year. One reason was the economic situation and from what I understood his plan would help people like me, and basically everyone else I knew, more than McCain's plan. But Obama also got an endorsement from someone I trusted greatly and that also meant a lot.

Election day came, Obama was announced the winner, and something happened with me. This message of hope that he had been endorsing throughout his campaign was in itself coming to fruition. It wasn't about "choose me and I will bring hope" anymore. Now we actually did choose him. Can I assume that we now have hope? Perhaps. There was a sort of feeling that everything was slowly falling into place. McCain's concession speech was wonderful in that he wanted to help Obama and encouraged everyone to come together. With every boo that he attempted to silence, I acknowledged that much more respect in an already respectable man, despite what one might think of his politics. I saw a special kind of energy in the crowd when Obama gave his acceptance speech. And while there are still some feeling like a mistake has been made, this particular kind of jubilation has proven to be much stronger.

For the first time, I feel like the person about to run my country is "my President". He isn't someone I just thought would be better. He is someone who has truly become an inspiring figure. I've always loved my home, but now I have hope that it will be better for myself, my children, and my grandchildren.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Another year in Old Orchard Beach

As usual, it has been a while since I have written.

At long last, my family vacation has begun. I am sitting in Old Orchard Beach as I type. I have been here every year of my life with the exception of 2006 when I was in Ohio. You would think coming here for 23 years would be tiring after a while, but it never really gets tiring. At least it doesn’t get tiring for me. I can imagine it getting tired for some people in particular, but that shouldn’t be a big deal because they aren’t here.

It certainly isn’t tiring for the rest of my family. My grandparents on my mother’s side have been taking my mother and aunt here for years. After the first year they came, my grandfather had said “we’ll stop coming back when the kids get tired of it.” For whatever reason no one got tired (which is ironic as I type this because everyone is asleep around me). But OOB is a longstanding family tradition. We’ve been renting the same house for some time now, we always go see the fireworks at The Pier on Thursday, we have a “mall night” at the Maine Mall (which sometimes happens during the afternoon depending on the weather), at some point the ladies like to have their own day out, and of course there is always the beach itself. My cousins and I usually play frisbee on the beach. My cousins are much more enthusiastic and could play endlessly as I prefer smaller doses. I tend to relax on the beach more then they do. My cousins are men of action on the beach as they are constantly moving, swimming, jumping, whatever it is they want to do. Both aren’t young but are young at heart. They especially love the swimming. I don’t understand how they can because the water is so cold in Maine. It’s like walking into a giant cooler of ice and being dumb enough to not have more clothes on. I will be dumb enough to go in now and then because the waves are good and I’ll surf on my boogie board. I don’t understand the name “boogie board” as the process has little to do with dancing. At any rate, I mostly like to sit back and relax, sometimes with a book in hand. The books are a new development from last summer as my girlfriend had gotten me into the Harry Potter series. You might remember that it was last summer when the infamous final book came out. Unfortunately I was only finishing up the third book at that point and had ways to go to see how everything would end. That summer I brought nearly the whole collection of books and was able to get into the fifth book. Regardless of the fact that it was the Harry Potter series, I found that I enjoyed reading on vacation, as well as having a greater respect for reading in general. It’s still not the strongest respect because I have a nasty habit of getting books and either barely starting them or not starting them at all. But here in OOB I have more enthusiasm to read.

Another thing I like most about this trip is the cliched “long walk on the beach”. I tend to walk either towards the pier or the other end toward Pine Point. My older cousin Robert will usually go with me and my younger cousin Paul will also come once in a while. Robert and I have probably are most interesting talks during these walks. We talk of things that we probably wouldn’t think to talk about. In many cases it is about our girlfriends and how things are.

In a way girls have always been a big part of OOB, which is strange because there really aren’t any here. But I remember days of being much younger and wanting to meet a girl at the beach in Maine. There was something romantic about it, which was strange because I doubt I had a true concept of romance at that time. But both Robert and I had these aspirations of meeting some wonderful girl that we would sweep away for the week...and then what? Would we have long-distance girlfriends in middle school? Would we be those lame kids at school foolish enough to say “I have a girlfriend, but she doesn’t live here. She lives far away. I met her for a week, we barely talk now, but it’s meant to be. Does this make us cool like you now?” Of course the main goal was to meet a girl in the first place and Robert was always more successful at that. Despite being a few years younger, he’s taller, muscular, and has that look that girls seem to like. I think I made a really good foil for him for a while. He was confident in walking shirtless down the beach with his stylish bathing suit while I was in an overgrown beach shirt that complemented my skinny physique. If Robert didn’t look good enough I was there to help. But Robert didn’t really know what to do with these girls because when he finally did talk to them he would get a bit tongue-tied and nervous. I had it in my head that I would be more confident with these girls of wonder, but I have a feeling now that I would have acted in the same way. For the last couple of years it hasn’t mattered because we are both in wonderful relationships. But if we were not it still wouldn’t change the fact that OOB is mainly populated by older French-Canadians.

But the girls were never what made OOB because OOB was always great in itself. With this year, just like any other, I unpacked as soon as I got here so I could get right into the beach. Today the air was cool and crisp from blowing off the water. I took a slow walk from the porch of our beach house to the edge of the ocean. I took a couple of steps into the freezing water, smelled the beach air, and was completely at peace today. Just like every year, I am sure it will be a great week.

In the words of Garrison Keillor, “Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.” I might have to steal that.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Maybe I should go into writing

I received a nice surprise in the mail yesterday. A book by the name of Exploring Nirvana: The Art of Jessica Park. What was especially nice about it was that I actually have an essay published in this book.

Back in 2004, I was involved in a FPA class at MCLA that was putting together an exhibition of Jessica Park's work. Jessica Park is a native of Williamstown, MA, which is only about 15 minutes from MCLA, and she is autistic. Her autism gives her this tremendous sense of detail and color, which has subsequently resulted in wonderful paintings of various subjects, mainly landscapes and buildings. When putting together this exhibition, everyone did an essay based off of one of her paintings along with a great deal of research on autism. After putting together the exhibition, our professor had stated he wanted to eventually put together a book with our work. Apparently the book finally got published not too long ago and my essay made it in.

I realize it is only a small thing. The book itself was published by the school and I don't even know what kind of circulation it will get. But it was a very nice feeling having something I wrote published.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Whoa, you're still here?

Haven't posted in forever!

Probably because it seems like not much has been happening. I am sure things have been happening but I was never really inspired to blog about it. So what has been happening since April?

I've been involved with a production of Fiddler on the Roof for a bit. We opened last weekend and we go into our final four shows starting tomorrow. It was a very difficult road getting to the show, but so far it has been worth it. I've been having a good time with it. My family and girlfriend saw the show this past Sunday and enjoyed it. Although it figures I would drop the bottle during the bottle dance that night. But that's ok.

Speaking of girlfriend, Jamie and I have been dating for exactly a year since Monday. Time flies. But it has been a wonderful year and I know the next coming years will be just as great. We've been able to spend a lot of time together this summer so far. One event we are looking forward to is Kaleidoscope's "Party of the Year" next week.

Right now I am just trying to get a summer job/part-time job. I'll take a summer one but one I can keep during school would be best. So far the applications haven't been taking. But I will still be doing some Boston shows and maybe if SOTP pays what they owe me I'll be good.

Also on the creative end, I put in some applications for some local films, most of which are actually paying gigs. So far I've heard from one and I have a reading on Monday. It would be $50 a day if I get a part. Keep your fingers crossed.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

What the hell did I eat before bed?

Very rarely do I ever remember dreaming at night. I am certain that I do dream every night but I am even more certain that I don't remember a damn thing about them. Last night was actually an exception. I remembered not one but two dreams that I had. Perhaps they were just much more vivid than I am used to. In any case, the dreams were as such:

The first was very odd. I was in a sort of dorm room with about five beds and I was sitting on one of them. My classmates in my MFA class each occupied one of the others. In the doorway was one of our professors, Professor Potter (and it's not Harry). By the time I realized where I was in this dream (not to say I knew it was a dream) he was in the middle of explaining something to Deidre, one of my classmates. She looked angry so it couldn't have been good. When Professor Potter finished, she said "I hate you" to him just as he was leaving. Then he comes back, having heard something, and inquires what was said. Deidre says nothing. Ryan, another classmate, says "she said she hates you" in perfect Ryan fashion. Professor Potter responds angrily with, and I quote "oooooooh!" Threatening, yes? Well, to me it was a little because he never gets angry. He storms out and we all contemplate the possible consequences. End of Act I. Weird.

Dream number two was a little unsettling. It involved a girl I was somewhat involved with, whom I haven't spoken to in well over a year and a half, and she had no business being in my subconscious. That's right, lady, don't let the cerebral doorway hit you on the way out...

Anyway, I couldn't tell where we were. It was a street filled with these sort of townhouses and for some reason I thought it was New Orleans. I don't know why I thought that because I've never been there. At any rate, this girl was talking to me in a very odd way. So odd I don't even know if she was talking to me. It was more like thinking about me out loud, but I was invisible and could bear witness to these thoughts. So here I am, invisible and seemingly following someone I don't really care to follow because she is expressing that she has something important to tell me. When she finally says what it is it came across as one of the most mundane, idiotic statements I had ever heard. So mundane I don't even remember what it was. I do remember, however, that I responded with "that's it?!" But now my invisible cover was blown and she knew I was there. She tried to stop me from leaving, asking me to come out of hiding, but I simply left quickly. The end. Scary.

I still don't know what to make of these dreams. The first I have a vague idea, but not the second. The second I can only speculate. The fact of the matter was that I was very hurt by this person and in some ways I never got over that. In more ways, however, I did get over it and moved far past it. But there is always that little, microscopic element that manages to sit there and somehow remind me that it still exists. Perhaps it is meant to be a growing experience and that I will always have it with me in order to maintain the person I am today, which in the long run is a better person than before. But what I don't get is why I can't just hang on to the result on let go of the process. What is it about this one tiny element that is so hard to shake?

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Do trucks jump out of planes?

As promised, I am here to present the next part of my airport adventure with Naum, which I would like to call:


Naum had given me instructions on when to pick him up. No problem. Thankfully for me my day at school wasn't too long so I went home after class, had some lunch, and awaited the time to leave. Suddenly I get a call from Naum. His plane seems to have landed 20 minutes early. I'm out the door and at the airport in record time (I might have gotten there later but Naum's navigation advise got me there sooner. Don't mess with this man).

In perfect Naum fashion, we bend the rules a bit and I pick him up at the departures section. Take that paid parking. We are on the road to Providence and Naum is telling me about his trip. As we converse, I notice the truck in front of me has some decorations, primarily a pair of stainless steel testicles hanging from the bottom of the rear bumper. I decide to keep driving and ignore these traveling testies until Naum sees them too. "What are those?" Naum asks me. "Well Naum, I believe those are testicles." The conversation continued as we notice there is also a decal for a paratrooper and we assume the driver is a military man. Naum goes on to hypothesize that this man (well, I was hoping it wasn't a woman) has great fortitude to put this on his truck. My guess was that the truck was the tough one and maybe it jumped out of planes. Who knows? We finally pass it and Naum sees the driver. "Oh! He's old! He's as old as I am!" Wonderful images flood my head. We make it to his home, he tells me he owes me lunch, and once again a good time was had by all.

I would have gotten this post up sooner, but I have been rather busy as of late. Lots going on with school, papers, and the play. But I promise to keep the interesting stuff coming as it comes my way.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Planes, plays, and not much else

The production of You Can't Take It With You that I am performing in unofficially opened last night. I say unofficially because it was for a benefit, not for the members and guests of the theater. Whatever you want to call it, it went well. The crowd was very responsive and everyone seemed to have enjoyed themselves. Tonight is our official opening and I hope we do just as well, if not better. This show is certainly fun but at the same time I've been working on it for so long I am glad that the actual shows are now happening.

Today I was up and out of here early. I had done some research for a paper, but before doing that I met up with one of my professors from school by the name of Naum Panovski for something I would like to call:


Yes, the experience was so fun that I made up a picture for it.

For those who don't know him, Naum is a professor at Rhode Island College in the MFA program. He is very knowledgeable, helpful, and apparently has three homes: one in Providence, one in New York, and one in Washington, D.C. Despite trying to tell him that people usually save money by picking one place to live, he assured me he knew what he was doing. All kidding aside, Naum had asked me to drive him to the airport this morning. Unfortunately for Naum, he asked the person ranked #2 in the "people with horrible senses of direction" list (My girlfriend Jamie is #1, although she might be a lot lower on the list now because of a GPS, which might make me #1). And yes, I did get a little turned around trying to find his apartment, but in my defense the street I had to turn on was not clearly marked and/or visible. True enough this is in my home of Providence, but I digress. I got Naum to the airport on time, having delightful conversations along the away. A good time was had by all.

Tune in this coming Monday when I have to pick him up. Expect another picture.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

R&R&R (Rest, Relaxation, and Rice)

This past week was pretty draining. I felt very busy the entire time and I am glad the weekend has slowed things down for the most part. I still have rehearsals for the show (which opens this friday, folks) but they aren't too bad. I am also moments away from heading out to Boston to do an improv show with Speed of Thought Players. We are supposed to have quite a crowd tonight judging by the reservation list. Lets hope we get that and more.

I also hung out with my cousins yesterday. While I could have put in hours at work I needed the rest. Yes, money can be tough for many of us but no amount can afford personal rest and time with friends and loved ones. In the end we all have bills to pay, but if we just do our best we manage to pay them. And doing our best with the people we care about means they will be there when things get rough.

I found a very interesting web site called and I recommend others go to it. It is a non-profit site that works with advertisers to raise money for the hungry and it does it by improving ones vocabulary. Every vocab question has an advertiser, who then donates money for food. The more questions you get right, the more advertisers, the more food donated. I figure if one is going to just going to aimlessly surf the web, they might as well do some good as well. Not to mention you might sound smarter afterwards.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

From text to tux

Before I go ahead with the ol' blog, I just thought I would point out that the new banner was made at moony4ever's fandom journal. Nice job.

So the paper that was plaguing me and that was due today got an extension, so now I don't have to worry about it for another two weeks. I am happy about the extension, yet now it is still hanging over my head. I definitely would have had to bust my hump to get it done for today, but at least it would have been done. Oh well, now I can take more time on it and get it right.

My friend RJ called to tell me he is getting married. I don't know what it is about people my age (which is 24 at this point). It seems so young to get married. On the other hand, people have married younger. And I guess if you know then you know. One thing that is certain is that he and his bride-to-be Michaela are going to be in a hurry to get things set up. The wedding is going to be in August! Talk about quick. In any case, I wish them the best.

I've been doing some dramaturgy related work lately. Some books that I was waiting for came in from the library and I've already started on the source book. If I can get into the swing of this I might start a dramaturgy blog. I'll be sure to keep everyone informed of that.

That's all for now.

Thursday, March 20, 2008


Like a soccer player using my groin as ball, it hit me today that I have a ton of work coming up. I have a paper for Dramatic Literature due next wednesday, which shouldn't be too bad but it will require some time. I know I can get it done as long as I focus, which might be the hardest part of the task. For my performance class I need to do some dramaturgy work as well as come up with my proposal for my final project. I really have no idea what I want to do, but the dramaturgy aspect of theatre is something I have been getting more and more interested in. In fact the dramaturgy I need to do for class was only assigned to me and one other person. Maybe I can find a little bit of time tomorrow to do things and hopefully some time on Sunday. But Saturday is out and Sunday is Easter. Another option is that if I don't go to my job on Monday by either not signing up for hours or seeing if I can get out of them. But money is definitely needed right now.

It will all come together. If I can't find the time, then I will make the time. Perhaps some early mornings are in order.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Hurry up and wait

I am very tired right now. I have been at school since 10:30 for a class, which got out at 12:30, and now I have been waiting until 4:00 for my last class, which will go to 6:50. I really don't want to be here in all honesty. Something about the waiting has made me even more tired. I wish I had gone home earlier and rested there. After class I have to go to rehearsal which will last a while, but at least I will be active and moving. Then I can collapse at home.

I have a meeting with Naum tomorrow. He is one of my professors here at RIC. I am hoping we will have a good talk because I think we need one.

Last night was a workshop for SOTP, but rather than practice a show we had a meeting concerning many things, primarily the opening of our new space in North Attleboro. I realize that right now the group needs time from the players to get through the nitty gritty. But I made it clear last night that I would like more responsibility. I want us to be more professional and reach the goals that we set out for more efficiently. I am certain this group can do well.

I do have one extra responsibility that I have to undertake for the time being, which is figuring out when we can hold an audition for the group. This is a very different way of doing things for us. I made my way into the group by going to the workshops, working, working, and working for roughly three years (on and off because of school), and then eventually being asked to join the a-list. It had seemed that this was the favorable way for everyone. It is more than just talent that binds this group together. It is a sense of family and respect, and no successful audition can bring that. Perhaps this is something I should bring up. I realize we need more people in the group to even out the work load, but I am fearful we might bite off more than we can chew.

Hit the, the left, the left!

I am trying to get back into the whole blogging thing. I haven't done a post in ages and ages, but for whatever reason I wanted to start again. I had a blog on Livejournal (back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, apparently) but moved to here when LJ decided to wig out on me and lose all of its formats. Moving on...

I was intensely frustrated the other day when I couldn't find one of my books. I don't think it was the fact that I wanted that particular book, instead I think it was because my room is too much of a mess to find anything. I tried getting it clean but to no avail and it slowly feels like it is getting worse. I never seem to have the time to do anything anymore. It's work, school, theatre, sleep. I would really like to just chill out for a bit. I even had a week off this last week but it didn't feel like enough, maybe because I was still doing the theatre thing.

School is the most intense right now. Going for an MFA is worth it, but I am worried I still won't know what to do with it once I am out. The work is just non-stop. All I would really like is to slow down for a bit.